Checking In | nicoleal20's Blog

It has been a boring week. I haven't done much, not even cleaned. Just haven't been in the mood. I'm kind of sort of not talking to W. I know, what was it this time? Just the usual feeling that I'm being blown off. Yeah, I know. My remedy to that was not exactly mature but it's all I could think of. I did some heavy thinking about it a few days ago. If a person is not meeting my needs as a friend, then why continue the friendship? I like W. I really do. He can be a good friend. But a lot of times I feel like he's purposely ignoring me. Take last week. I hadn't really talked to him in some time. I texted him and dropped him an email but I got no response. I logged in so he could see I was on messenger, and I know he was online but he never responded to me. I can understand if a person does not want to chat. Sometimes I am online and I don't want to chat either. But if you don't want to be bothered then why not become invisible? That's what I do when I don't feel like chatting with everybody. But I am beginning to think that he just does not want to chat with me. So I removed him from my friends lists. I figured if I don't see him online I won't think about it and it won't bother me.  he sent me a message the other day but I ignored it, just the way he ignored mine. Once again, how mature..

Before things like that used to really bother me. It used to bring my mood down. I would agonize over it for days. That was the old me. The new me says in the grand scheme of things, W blowing me off is like one speck of sand on the beach that is my life. So why stress over it? 

On another note, the right side of my face is swollen. I have one of those mouth sores all the way in the back of my mouth near the jawbone. It hurts just to think about it. I hope it stops hurting before the weekend is over. I can hardly eat anything.

That's all there is for now. more later..